My Birth - a NIGHTMARE or a GIFT
My Birth - a NIGHTMARE or a GIFT
When I was born I was a nightmare come true for my mother.
She had been told after my middle brother was born to have a hysterectomy because our family doctor was afraid if she got pregnant a third time she might die.
Both her 1st and 2nd babies were huge at over 9 lbs each. She was about 4'-11" and tiny in size.
She was scared by the idea of having the operation. My understanding growing up is that she and my father simply restrained from sex or practice safe sex when they did.
It was not a Sunday afternoon dinner conversation.
My collective knowledge came through bits and pieces of overheard conversations.
BUT....
She did become pregnant a 3rd time. She followed every instruction from her doctor and her various women friends.
The morning of June 30th, 1944 she woke up. Prepared my father's breakfast. Then told him she was going into labor.
Off to Saratoga Hospital he drove them.
Apparently I was in a hurry to be born and came out before our family doctor could arrive.
A young intern who was on duty and the nurses delivered me.
Later the young intern came into my mother's room to report about her new baby, her 3rd son.
Mrs. Black your baby boy is a healthy 9 lbs 10 oz. He has all of his 10 toes and fingers. His eyesight and hearing appear to be normal.
There is one concern. Your baby may never be able to speak clearly enough to be understood. He was born with a severe cleft palate and harelip.
My mother and I never talked about the details of that morning. Once again the story or stories I have learned came in bits and pieces overheard. Looking back I know that not truly talking with and listening to my mother tell me about her feelings was a major mistake in my life.
After the intern delivered that NIGHTMARE News my mother probably cried and cried. My impression or understanding has always been that she felt she had sinned and God had punished her with a deformed child. An abnormal, handicapped child.
Later our family doctor arrived and learned of the stupid things that the young intern, I stress, young, had told his patient.
Quickly our doctor tried to dispel the false information, we would call it now in 2018. I imagine the conversation went something like this.
Joan, your baby is fine. I have a very good friend, Dr. Claire Straighth right here in Detroit who is a world famous surgeon who specializes in correct cleft palate defects. I will have him come see you soon and explain what he will do for your baby.
Later that week on Sunday the doorbell rang at 20529 Joann Street in northeast Detroit.
When my father opened our front door there stood on our tiny concrete porch a man in a Sunday going to church suit with a friendly face.
"Good Morning Mr. Black I am Dr. Straight, friend of your family doctor. I have come to see your baby son and your wife."
My dad escorted him to their bedroom where Dr. Straighth explained what the surgery would do and stressing that with speech correction after the surgery your baby son will live a normal life.
At least that is how I have always understood to be the story of the NIGHTMARE when I was born.
Now looking back over 74 years I can recall many DREAMS that have come true since that totally prove that
EXPERTS DON'T ALWAYS KNOW ALL THE ANSWERS.
In July in Washington, DC NSA President Dave Gordon put the ribbon and CSP - Creative Speaking Professional medallion around my neck awarding the highest earned speaking award that the National Speakers Association has to offer.
The baby who would never speak and be understood was a professional speaker and has been since 1980.
When I was born I was a nightmare come true for my mother.
She had been told after my middle brother was born to have a hysterectomy because our family doctor was afraid if she got pregnant a third time she might die.
Both her 1st and 2nd babies were huge at over 9 lbs each. She was about 4'-11" and tiny in size.
She was scared by the idea of having the operation. My understanding growing up is that she and my father simply restrained from sex or practice safe sex when they did.
It was not a Sunday afternoon dinner conversation.
My collective knowledge came through bits and pieces of overheard conversations.
BUT....
She did become pregnant a 3rd time. She followed every instruction from her doctor and her various women friends.
The morning of June 30th, 1944 she woke up. Prepared my father's breakfast. Then told him she was going into labor.
Off to Saratoga Hospital he drove them.
Apparently I was in a hurry to be born and came out before our family doctor could arrive.
A young intern who was on duty and the nurses delivered me.
Later the young intern came into my mother's room to report about her new baby, her 3rd son.
Mrs. Black your baby boy is a healthy 9 lbs 10 oz. He has all of his 10 toes and fingers. His eyesight and hearing appear to be normal.
There is one concern. Your baby may never be able to speak clearly enough to be understood. He was born with a severe cleft palate and harelip.
My mother and I never talked about the details of that morning. Once again the story or stories I have learned came in bits and pieces overheard. Looking back I know that not truly talking with and listening to my mother tell me about her feelings was a major mistake in my life.
After the intern delivered that NIGHTMARE News my mother probably cried and cried. My impression or understanding has always been that she felt she had sinned and God had punished her with a deformed child. An abnormal, handicapped child.
Later our family doctor arrived and learned of the stupid things that the young intern, I stress, young, had told his patient.
Quickly our doctor tried to dispel the false information, we would call it now in 2018. I imagine the conversation went something like this.
Joan, your baby is fine. I have a very good friend, Dr. Claire Straighth right here in Detroit who is a world famous surgeon who specializes in correct cleft palate defects. I will have him come see you soon and explain what he will do for your baby.
Later that week on Sunday the doorbell rang at 20529 Joann Street in northeast Detroit.
When my father opened our front door there stood on our tiny concrete porch a man in a Sunday going to church suit with a friendly face.
"Good Morning Mr. Black I am Dr. Straight, friend of your family doctor. I have come to see your baby son and your wife."
My dad escorted him to their bedroom where Dr. Straighth explained what the surgery would do and stressing that with speech correction after the surgery your baby son will live a normal life.
At least that is how I have always understood to be the story of the NIGHTMARE when I was born.
Now looking back over 74 years I can recall many DREAMS that have come true since that totally prove that
EXPERTS DON'T ALWAYS KNOW ALL THE ANSWERS.
In July in Washington, DC NSA President Dave Gordon put the ribbon and CSP - Creative Speaking Professional medallion around my neck awarding the highest earned speaking award that the National Speakers Association has to offer.
The baby who would never speak and be understood was a professional speaker and has been since 1980.
Enjoyed this story Alan. Thanks for sharing.
ReplyDeletethank you Rosemary....creativeness is exploding out of all my pores now
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